Dude, it’s me, Tomomi, at the oscars.

Yeah, I did get in…I know Oli had his doubts about that, but I’m more capable than he thinks, y’know? Like, if they stop me at the door, I’ve always got a few lines up my sleeve to throw them off…and actually, they did stop me, and I had to think pretty fast, so I said I was Rinko Kikuchi, and, Holy shit, it worked…I mean, I’ll be straight up, I don’t look a thing like little Rinko, but I guess because we’re both Japanese I could get away with it…y’know, there’s only really one Japanese actress allowed in Hollywood at any one time…the rest of us have to line up at the sign and wait for Rinko to fuck up, which she seems to be doing her best at…playing a mute in a director’s second film? I mean, what the fuck? But anyway, right now, she’s the Japanese name on the list, and she clearly wasn’t turning up for Oscar this year, so there I was, pseudo-Rinko, sitting somewhere a little near the back but not too far from the front where the Streeps and Camerons lie… Read the rest of this entry »